80 Christmas Jokes for Kids

Start with the Santa jokes: every kid knows the setup, so the answer lands on the first try.

20 Santa, reindeer and elf jokes

The classics first. These work for kids 4 and up, because the punch line plays on a word they already use.

Santa

1. Start here What does Santa use to keep his garden tidy? A ho, ho, hoe.
2. Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him.
3. What do you call Santa when he stops moving? Santa Pause.
4. What is Santa’s favorite kind of music? Wrap music.
5. Why is Santa so good at karate? He has a black belt.

Reindeer

6. What does a reindeer say before telling a joke? This one will sleigh you.
7. What do you call a reindeer with no eyes? No eye deer.
8. Why did Rudolph get a bad grade at school? He went down in history.
9. What do reindeer hang on their trees? Hornaments.
10. Which reindeer has the best manners? Polite-ner.

Santa’s sleigh

11. What do you call a broke Santa? Saint Nickel-less.
12. How does Santa’s sleigh get across town? It takes the snow route.
13. What is the North Pole’s favorite song? There’s snow place like home.
14. Why did Santa park his sleigh on the roof? He couldn’t find a spot on the street.
15. What did the North Pole say to the South Pole? We’re worlds apart.

Elves

16. What do elves learn first at school? The elf-abet.
17. Why are elves so good at music? They have elf-pitch.
18. What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper.
19. How do elves take selfies? With their elfies.
20. Why was the elf sitting on the clock? He wanted to be on time for once.

Number 8 is my favorite on this page. It works twice once you know where Rudolph started.

20 snow and winter jokes

Snowmen, snowflakes and cold weather. Younger kids get the snowman jokes first.

Snowmen

21. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.
22. Where do snowmen keep their money? In a snow bank.
23. What do you call a snowman in July? A puddle.
24. Why did the snowman call his dog Frost? Because Frost bites.
25. What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?

Snow and snowflakes

26. How do snowflakes say goodbye? See you next fall.
27. What is a snowflake’s favorite game? Freeze tag.
28. Why are snowflakes good at dancing? They know all the drifts.
29. What do you get when you cross a snowball and a shark? Frostbite.
30. What falls in winter but never gets hurt? Snow.

Polar bears and penguins

31. What do polar bears eat for lunch? Ice-bergers.
32. What is a penguin’s favorite relative? Aunt Arctica.
33. How do penguins make pancakes? With their flippers.
34. What do you call a polar bear wearing earmuffs? Anything you like. It can’t hear you.
35. Why don’t penguins fly? They can’t afford plane tickets.

Cold weather

36. What do you call a cold dog? A chili dog.
37. Why did the mitten lose the race? It got cold feet.
38. What does a cold fish wear? A fish cap.
39. What do you say to a cold friend? Ice to see you.
40. Why did the thermometer go to school? To get a few degrees.

20 tree, cookie and present jokes

The family’s favorites are usually in this section, because the answers make grown-ups groan.

Christmas trees

41. What do Christmas trees do when they’re cold? They put on their fir coats.
42. How did the tree learn to read? It got its leaves out of a book.
43. Why was the Christmas tree so bad at sewing? It kept dropping its needles.
44. What do you call a tree that knows a lot? Treemendously smart.
45. What did the tree say to the ornament? Quit hanging around.

Cookies and food

46. What do gingerbread men put on their beds? Cookie sheets.
47. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? He was feeling crumby.
48. What is a snowman’s favorite drink? Iced tea.
49. Why did the cookie cry? Its mom had been a wafer too long.
50. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis.

Presents and wrapping

51. What did the wrapping paper say to the gift? I’ve got you covered.
52. Why was the present so quiet? It was all wrapped up in itself.
53. What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
54. What goes oh, oh, oh? Santa walking backward.
55. Why did the bow go to school? To get a little more knot-ledge.

Carols and bells

56. What carol do parents sing? Silent Night, hoping for one.
57. What is a bell’s favorite treat? Ding-dong donuts.
58. Why do carolers stand so close together? They’re keeping in harmony.
59. What do angry mice send at Christmas? Cross-mouse cards.
60. Which carol do dogs like best? Bark, the Herald Angels Sing.

20 Christmas knock-knock jokes

Knock-knock jokes need two people, so these work in the car and at the table. Kids 3 and up can play the “who’s there” side.

Santa’s helpers

61. Knock knock. Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? Snow use, I forgot my key.
62. Knock knock. Who’s there? Elf. Elf who? Elf me wrap this present, please.
63. Knock knock. Who’s there? Holly. Holly who? Holly-days are here.
64. Knock knock. Who’s there? Rein. Rein who? Rein-deer, it’s cold out here.
65. Knock knock. Who’s there? Santa. Santa who? Santa letter, did you get it?

Winter visitors

66. Knock knock. Who’s there? Icy. Icy who? Icy you looking through the window.
67. Knock knock. Who’s there? Freeze. Freeze who? Freeze a jolly good fellow.
68. Knock knock. Who’s there? Arthur. Arthur who? Arthur any cookies left?
69. Knock knock. Who’s there? Mary. Mary who? Mary Christmas to you.
70. Knock knock. Who’s there? Yule. Yule who? Yule never guess.

At the door on Christmas Eve

71. Knock knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, we brought cocoa.
72. Knock knock. Who’s there? Wanda. Wanda who? Wanda build a snowman?
73. Knock knock. Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut who? Doughnut open until Christmas.
74. Knock knock. Who’s there? Gladys. Gladys who? Gladys finally the holidays.
75. Knock knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive the other reindeer.

Last knocks of the night

76. Knock knock. Who’s there? Dexter. Dexter who? Dexter halls with boughs of holly.
77. Knock knock. Who’s there? Coal. Coal who? Coal me when Santa gets here.
78. Knock knock. Who’s there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana wish you a merry Christmas.
79. Knock knock. Who’s there? Oh Christmas. Oh Christmas who? Oh Christmas tree, open the door.
80. Knock knock. Who’s there? Interrupting reindeer. Interrupting rein… Jingle bells.

I always forget how much better number 80 sounds when the “who’s there” side doesn’t see it coming.

A few notes on the jokes

Rudolph, the punch line of number 8, first appeared in 1939 in a booklet that Robert L. May wrote for the Montgomery Ward department store, according to the Library of Congress. So the reindeer has been going down in history for a while.

For more December fun, try our Christmas games for the whole family, the Christmas would you rather questions and the Elf on the Shelf ideas. The rest live in the Family hub, and we explain how we write these lists on How we pick.